You call this a blog? This ain't no blog! This is ___INSERT DISS HERE____.

I promised you all a contest was coming up, and here it is! But, first, you all have to understand, this ain't just any old contest like you've seen on some other blogs. You see, this ain't about me waving free stuff in your face and telling you to kiss ass, this is about me waving free stuff in your face and telling you to KICK ASS. To win this contest, you are going to have to get nasty.

I mean nasty like R. Kelley taking your daughter out on a date.
I mean nasty like Senator Larry Craig spending all day in the men's washroom, nasty like Mike Tyson's 'Roid Rage'...

Presenting: The Seocracy.com DISS MY BLOG Contest.

Instead of asking for the usual kiss-me-arse site reviews, I thought I would fly in the face of convention and ask you all to really let 'er rip. I want to hear the most creative, sophisticated, intelligent, and of course, hilarious diss of my blog. Nothing is off limits! You can attack my writing style, my punctuation and grammar, my content, my programming, my blogs design....you can attack my lifestyle, the way I look (email me for sexy pictures) or my personality. Hell, you can even insult my God.

Since this is a pretty open ended contest, I expect to get tons of weak disses like the following:

"Your Blog is so fat that when I tried to resize it to 800x600, it broke my monitor."

While the above may have some iota of comedic value, -- if you chuckled at that, you need to get out more -- I'm afraid to say, these kinds of disses just won't cut it.

To be considered an entry, your Diss has to be on your blog and has to have a link back to this post with a mention to the Seocracy.com DISS MY BLOG contest.
Points will be awarded to each Diss along the following criteria:

It's uniqueness - meaning, for once, DONT Google it.

It's relevance - Writing a really awesome and hilarious Diss about France might make us all laugh, but -- and don't get me wrong: I like to insult the French as much as the next person -- it won't necessarily win you any prizes (other then the wrath of a Nation)

It's overall length - I wanna see some serious depth and creativity go into this, so the more detailed your diss, the better your chances are.

It's level of sophistication - If you can insult me while using big sounding words like Dickensian, lugubrious, misanthrope,  or even scape-grace; you'll do just fine.

General Hilarity of Diss - This speaks for itself, make us bust a gut and I'll bust out the prizes

Speaking of which, let's talk about the AWARDS!

THIRD PLACE: (2 third place prizes will be awarded)
A copy of Aaron Wall's SEO BOOK - perhaps the most complete SEO Knowledge Base available. Approx Value $79.00
AND
A choice of any two databases available for sale here on Seocracy.com. Approx Value: $20 - $100

SECOND PLACE: (1 second place prize will be awarded)
A free TR Report from aojon - A real time TrustRank score for your domain, and a consultation on linking strategies. Approx Value $400.00

FIRST PLACE: (3 first place prizes will be awarded)
A one month subscription to BlueHatSEO's SQUIRT. With a waiting list the length of my arm, SQUIRT is one of the most sought after and exclusive memberships on the web. Approx Value: $100.00
AND
A one-month subscription to Datapresser.com - Wordpress Mass Content Generator - Instantly create 1000's of pages of unique content. Approx Value: $45.00

This contest is open until the 15th of November.
Leave a comment below with a link back to your entry.

Remeber: YOU CAN ENTER AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT

All winners will be notified via their blog, not by email.

Go on, get nasty!

Also, keep in mind that you dont have to curse and use disgusting language to deliver a good diss.....I won't EVER censor anyone, but keep in mind that you dont HAVE to be crude, just witty.